Classy Dating Ideas

Step 1. Prepare an elaborate candlelit dinner at your place

Step 2. Shyly invite her in, and pour her a glass of wine

Step 3. Sit down, listen to her intently, and eat a delicious meal

Step 4. After dinner walk out and go on a long walk with her, taking in the moonlight

Step 5. Casually lean over to her in the middle of a discussion on the great American poets

Step 6. Whisper in her ear that you are very wealthy

Step 7. Go back to her place and get fucked

Step 1. Rent a ducktales movie

Step 2. Take her back to your place and watch it

Step 3. Scoff about how poor Scrooge McDuck is the entire time

Step 4. Open a door to your secret room full of coins and swim in it

Step 5. Look over at her, and coyly smile

Step 6. Go back to her place and get fucked

Step 1. Take her on a walk through the park

Step 2. Plant your friends randomly through the park

Step 3. Run into your friends one by one and have them say “I still owe you that money, thank you so much for lending me a helping hand, I owe you big time”

Step 4. Tell them not to worry about it… you have enough money to not worry about small time loans

Step 5. Turn to your date and make eye contact, commenting on how great your friends are

Step 6. Go back to her place and get fucked

Step 1. Hail a cab.

Step 2. Get in the cab with her.

Step 3. Tell the cab driver that he can drive wherever the fuck he wants because you enough money to pay him for this ride and then buy him.

Step 4. Look to your date and smile knowingly.

Step 5. Go back to her place and get fucked.